Dot Com Dating In SL™

Last Updated on Tuesday, 08 September 2009 06:31 Written by Ron Vaniva Sunday, 09 August 2009 13:17

Dating With A Twist

Are you tired of the bar scene and nude beaches? Is your SL Job simply not introducing you to the right kind of people? Are you looking for SL marriage? Are you a discreet Dom looking for a significant other Sub? Or are you looking for Mister/Miss RL Right?  Then SL Dating Services may be the alternative you’ve been looking for, and you are not alone.

Of the SL Dating Services that I spoke to, their user base is increasing up to 10% per week. That’s right, one of the hottest entrepreneurial opportunities in SL is the dot com dating business, or at least that’s how the people at Sweethearts and AvaDate see it. Two former TSO (The Sims Online) transplants have taken separate paths to provide two separate but competitive dating services. When you search for “Dating Service” you get dozens of results, most of them falling closer to the Sweethearts Model (http://date.sweetheartsjazz.com) or the AvaDate Model (http://avadate.net).
 
While each service has shrugged off looks at their competition, both have miraculously come to the same price point for finding love on which is SL, L$500. Common to each service is an “in world” social mixing component. Sweethearts offers a variety of opportunities in their Jazz Club, and AvaDate has monthly mixers and opens their doors to their HQ that sports a intimate and casual meeting area and dance floor.  After this, their approach varies significantly, and begins to take on the personality of the people who are behind the operations.


Romance of Sweethearts

Sweethearts Singles is a part of the Sweethearts Franchise run by Dilbert Dilweg and Charity Colville, probably one of the better known couples on SL due not only to their business successes, but their SL turned real life romance. It’s a real life computer geek meets computer geek (their words not mine!) love story documented in stories in newspapers, television, and the web. So much so that should you Google “Charity Colville” you will get 3,350 hits, and “Dilbert Dilweg” 5,740 hits. According to their website, “It is our hope and honor to assist in that process so that others can be as happy as we are.” Or in Dilbert’s words, “We wanted to create a place for people to connect the same way we did. Our whole theme is romance, dating, and meeting new people.”

Charity adds, “We felt the 3D environment fit [with a dating service], you can actually go on a ‘date’ safely.” Safety and romance are definitely the hallmarks of the Sweetheart model. They have been able to maintain both even as their website presents like a RL online dating site –with a twist. The twist comes into play with some of the date seekers options. In addition to the traditional Man seeking Woman, Woman seeking Man, Man/Man, Woman/Woman options, there are variations that include Couples and Groups increasing the search options exponentially. Once you make your selection, you then pick your target age, and view the profiles. Neat, easy, and I dare say fun.


AvaDate Practicality

AvaDate, under the direction of ButterflyKiss Ophelia, takes a decidedly different approach. ButterflyKiss explains, “…Most people starting out in a virtual world need a little help. A lot of people are thrown into the ‘wild scene’ and need something more realistic. You type dating into search and come up with XXX places to visit and people chasing you with virtual members… [this is] not a scene most in SL like to visit.” Introduced to the service by a “sister” three years ago, ButterflyKiss was first a partner in AvaDate. When her sister moved on, ButterflyKiss developed scripting, building, and marketing to make AvaDate what it is today.

When asked if there have been any “surprises” along the way, she said that she hadn’t expected the RL marriages. She’s averaging one per year among her couples, even saying that there have been RL children born to couples who met through her service. ButterflyKiss estimates that 15% of her clients decide to take their relationship to RL, “but you have to want it!” says ButterflyKiss.

AvaDate accommodates the fantasy not only with their “straight” group, but especially with their “Alternative” group. This is where the needs of Transsexuals, Gays (men), Lesbians, Vampires, Master/Dom & Slave/Sub (each with BDSM options), Furry, Fetish’s, and Role Players are all addressed.

The AvaDate process is simply this: You visit their AvaDate location in SL, select either the Straight or Alternative group to join, pay your Lindens, and complete a profile that is on a Notecard provided to you. Once completed, this notecard is returned to AvaDate, and with the dutiful assistance of one Kinkygal Shenley the profiles are distributed to the group.  Anyone interested may contact the person directly.  Group members may elect to be moved to the inactive list if they become involved. Once there, at any time, they may be reinstated to the active group and resume receiving new profiles as they come in.  So in a sense, AvaDate is like the Dating Mafia. Once you are in it, you are in it for life.


Part Matchmaker Part Meddling Sister-in-Law

Blind Date Network offers a unique SL spin on the concept of a blind date. Clubs may have one or more kiosks (dating ATM’s so to speak) placed throughout their venue. At those locations, prospective daters may deposit L$25 and receive a simple form that asks if you they male or female, their species, and what sort of match they would be interested in such as male, female, and species.

Behind the scenes, venue owners have options for how the kiosk processes applications. The date search parameters may be set on one of three settings. They may match applications from that particular Blind Date machine, they may match applications from kiosks throughout the entire Sim, or they may even match applications from the entire Grid. Based on the daters input, and the search parameters, a blind match is made.

“We saw how SL naturally drew people to their area of interest” Raz Ronas, GM of BDN explains, “Many on SL have their favorite clubs, and venues, and find themselves very comfortable there.” By having these kiosks available in the clubs, BDN believes that not only will they be matching people with similar interests, but because the kiosk revenues are shared with the host club, they are helping the clubs viability and adding to its revenue stream. “It’s a win/win. Daters get to meet people in a fun and playful way, and the clubs they enjoy are made more secure in the process, improving the clubs chances to continue to be a fun gathering spot.”


Caveat Emptor

Dating in SL isn’t without complication. The first issue is that of the unwritten law of separation of First and Second Life®. Profiles seek to identify RL locations, and in some sites allow RL photos to be posted. While this is all within the user’s control, daters in SL just like RL need to understand that once on the Internet, their information is out there for the world to see. The second issue, at the risk of pointing out the obvious, is that dating on SL for many is just to expand their fantasy experience. In an environment where men can be women, and women men, daters must always remember “caveat emptor” or “let the buyer beware”.  While each service mentioned here today has taken care to structure their profile questionnaire to separate reality from fantasy and provide daters to clearly state their intentions, there is no protection (nor can there be) to prevent lying on the profiles.

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Landmarks and links:

- Sweethearts Jazz Dance Club & romantic Ballroom Dancing & Mall
- Avadate
- Blind Date Network kiosk